A lot of people make these common relationship mistakes when they fall in love. However, if you want to enjoy a lasting relationship, you must learn to avoid these mistakes.
In this article, we will discuss the love stages and the 29 common relationship mistakes you should avoid at every stage. This post is quite long, so get a cup of coffee while scanning through.
Before we begin, you must know the 5 stages of a romantic love cycle.
The 5 stages in a typical romantic relationship are:
- The Attraction
At each stage, there are mistakes you can make that may ruin your love relationship. You’ll need to avoid these relationship mistakes to enjoy a fulfilling relationship. Let’s get started.
The excitement of finding new love can end up becoming stressful for you. You can lose yourself when you are trying to fix another person into your life. The attraction phase lasts about 3 months on average. Common mistakes you are likely to make at the initial stage of finding love may include;
1. Social Media Stalking
You can get a little uneasy with your new love being away from you and decide to lurk on their social media pages. Liking all their photos, texting too often, calling, and sending them too many photos of you can be disturbing for your new partner. Do it offline if possible.
2. Poor Eating Habits
The feel-good rush and excitement of finding new love can get you feeling for food constantly or avoiding it completely. Overeating can cause weight gain and health problems. Skipping meals also have negative consequences on your body. You need the rush energy to keep up with your new love. Therefore, eat well enough!
3. Forgetting Your Friends
Wait, you forgot your friends? You had a life before you met this new person. It was a life of excitement and love. Your friends and close associates can give you sound tips on keeping your new relationship. Don’t ignore them when you find new love.
4. You Rush To Have Sex
The biggest mistake that ruins most relationships that start well is rushing to bed too fast and having too much of it. You need to get to know your new love well enough before you open yourself up for deep intimacy. When there is a level of commitment before sex, couples feel responsible for their actions much more than when the sex is casual, based on just attraction.
5. Putting Your Life On Hold
Leaving all your dreams to hang on to the new person you found love with may not be the smartest of choices to make. When they leave, you feel more miserable. Draw a differentiating line between the other person, your personal goals, and the relationship and serve each interest separately.
Making any sound judgment or decisions at this stage of your relationship is critical as most relationship mistakes are made here. Infatuation is a normal phase of the romantic experience, lasting about 6 months. The intense feeling of love towards the new one may confuse your judgment of issues. The other person may not feel the same way as you do and may not respond in the love language you understand. Infatuation can be a fading phase. Look out for these common mistakes;
6. You Get Too Jealous
Every tiny detail of your new love’s life is now your headache. You feel you can personalize their lives and know every person they associate with; who their friends are, who text them more than you. Don’t make your new love the only source of positivity in your life.
7. You Compromise When You Don’t Have To
When you find yourself giving too much then you are getting back in your relationship, take a step back and assess if you’re doing the right thing. When you don’t feel like you are happy after making a decision or you resent your partner after a compromising situation, it’s a sign you are not really getting a say in decision making.
8. You Get Too Clingy
When you begin to show too much neediness or text and call compulsively for an extended period of time, you are getting too clingy. It’s a sign of a lack of self-control and may not be healthy for your new relationship. Neediness can be a complete turn-off for most people as it shows a lack of confidence.
9. Ignoring Red Flags
At the stage of infatuation, you may tend to ignore analyzing your partner’s words and actions more carefully. When your partner doesn’t check up on you or comes and goes whenever they desire so, it’s a warning sign that they may not be fully committed to you. Ignoring red flags can harm you.
10. Loving Too Hard
You may feel the need to impress your new love in any way possible. That could mean doing things you’ll not do on your own – such a daunting task! You will end up resenting your partner if you keep doing this. If you feel like you are losing yourself in the relationship by lying your way through every discussion to feel accepted, you are trying too hard.
11. Getting Extremely Cautious
Feeling the need to be cautious all the time for fear of losing your new relationship? It’s time to reassess yourself – you may be acting too cautious.
At this stage of your relationship, you are serious about your new love and want to do everything that needs to be done to keep your relationship healthy.
Becoming a couple signifies a time of bonding and consciousness of the two personalities involved in the relationship. You form a single, complete picture of yourselves. Handling this stage of the relationship can be tricky as you begin to get comfortable with each other. Watch out for these mistakes that you can make during this period;
12. Losing Focus On Yourself
Feeling attached to your new love can get you thinking it’s all about your partner and your relationship and never about you. You must not lose focus on doing the things you love to do. Have time to think about your personal goals and the best way to achieve them. What happens to you if the relationship breaks and you have no one to attach to?
13. Putting Your Life On Hold
A time of bonding can be a happier, relaxing moment. You may feel pressured to put your life on hold for your new love-if their aspirations seem to outweigh yours. You are just as important! Place value on your life and time. Allow your partner to respect your values by pursuing them alongside keeping your relationship.
14. Staying Active On Online Dating
Keeping your online dating profile active at this stage of your relationship can create a distraction and cause distrust between you and your partner. You need to remain focused on your current relationship and work towards getting it to work. Your online dating profile should go down 3 months into starting off a new relationship.
15. Getting In Their Personal Space
Sounds like you? Don’t lose focus on your individuality in a relationship. You need a balance between staying too close and being too far apart from each other. Nevertheless, this core dilemma to achieving personal satisfaction must be handled with care so that the relationship is not hurt by being too far apart, where one couple feels abandoned or staying too close, where another may feel pressured to love.
16. Hiding Relevant Information And Weakness
You may not want to share so much information with your partner. Equally, hiding relevant details such as your personal likes and weaknesses from your partner can have an impact on how he/she treats you. You need to open up about yourself to build trust in each other. Hiding and lying about yourself doesn’t trigger good vibes in a partnership. Be your authentic self!
Engagement is a critical stage in the love process, most break-in relationships happen at this stage if there are unresolved conflicts. At this stage, families get introduced into your relationship, there is a lot of planning and joy if there are no pending issues. This is the time for compromises and doubts about the bond you share. Lasting about 13.6 months, there are mistakes to look out for at this all-important stage;
17. Giving Up On Your Dreams For The Other Person
You may abandon what you love pursuing as an individual for your partner because you feel bonded and may confuse their goals to be yours. You need to pursue your individual goals. Your partner’s dreams are not yours. You will lose out a lot if the relationship breaks.
18. You Share Too Much Information
At the early stages of dating, you may want to limit the volume of information you share – Yes, you need to take it slowly. At the engagement stage, however, enough information about yourself can be shared. Expressing love towards your partner at this stage is acceptable but needs control. A study shows that it takes men 88 days in a relationship to say “I love You”. Women take 134 days to say the same words in a relationship.
19. Trying To Change Your Partner
You need to know that you can’t change your partner to suit your likes. Each one in a relationship is packaged differently. Get to know each other and compromise to live a fulfilling love life. In trying to change your partner, you may push for control that can ruin trust. Allow your love to be nurtured along a natural course while paying attention to dealing with red flags.
20. Sex Getting Out Of Control
Sex can get a little too much without control. When you make the relationship all about sex, you tend to relax about addressing much more pertinent issues that affect your dual progress. Most relationships built on only sex don’t last. You get bored when the sex ceases and there is nothing more to look forward to.
21. Neglecting To Work On The Relationship
You need to focus on building a lasting friendship that solidifies your bond. Keep addressing relevant matters. Don’t push matters under the rug to attend to it later. Allowing yourself to drift off into the love feeling alone can have damaging effects on your partnership.
22. Pushing For Control
You may feel the need to push for control of your relationship to keep it growing if you are not confident in your partner’s ability to sustain the relationship. A toxic relationship is characterized by dominance, control, and self-centredness. Pushing for control may ultimately lead to abuse of your partner’s rights and privacy.
You are on the right track, and well, to a happy, fulfilling love life if your relationship is built on loyalty and trust. You don’t get jealous anymore when your partner is talking with others, you feel secure in your relationship. These are all signs that you are in a stable relationship. It normally takes couples 2 years to get here. This is the stage couples get married, move in with each other or formally commit to loving each other. Nevertheless, mistakes are made at this stage;
23. Going Over Boundaries
Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and that includes respecting the physical and emotional boundaries of your partner and vice versa. If you’re unsure what boundaries your partner may have set, ask about them. More importantly, have open and honest discussions to help create a lasting relationship. Asking for your partner’s passwords and access to their social media profiles, or expecting them to tell you who they have been with can trigger a lot of trust issues in your relationship.
24. Questioning Your Relationship
You may still have questions about your relationship even at the stage of commitment when you are both very conscious of each other’s involvement in the relationship. Uncertainties and comparing your current relationship to old ones can get you asking yourself questions. It’s a bad habit to bring old relationship habits into new ones. Let go of worries over how your relationship is turning out. You need to keep your positivity level high, it’s healthy for growing your relationship
25. Saying Yes All The Time
It’s a trap to think you’ll hurt your partner if you remain straight with them after they have committed to a relationship. Your fear of losing your relationship over saying things as they should be can affect your confidence and trust in the long run. If it’s a ‘Yes’, say it as it is. On the other hand, a ‘No’ must mean exactly that.
26. “The Lazy Bedroom Attitude”
Sex can get wack in the bedroom when you consistently allow your partner to get away with a lazy attitude towards it. Every aspect of the relationship needs working, including sex.
27. Expecting Your Partner To Be Everything To You
Your friends, co-workers, and family are there to support you. Your partner can’t be everything to you. Do you have any hobbies you enjoy?
Focus on your hobbies instead of craving emotional dependency on your partner. Have a life aside from your relationship.
28. Keeping Score
When partners focus on the negative aspect of keeping score, they tend to treat each other unfairly leading to discord.
This is another one of the big relationship mistakes to avoid.
No one is perfect. Straightaway, discuss any hurtful feelings you may be harboring against your partner.
29. Communication Lapse
Money, sex and any details that support your relationship must be discussed.
On the other hand, overlooking things may create confusion in this last stage where you are both very confident of a future together.
Be straight with your partner when it comes to such matters that need addressing. Don’t allow gaps in your communication.
Also, Click here to learn Some Great Dating Terms You Should Know
So these are the ” Common Relationship Mistakes To Avoid When You Fall In Love”.
There are periods you experience a downward slide no matter how much effort you put into loving your partner. There may be times when your partner’s previously adorable quirks suddenly become irritating to you
Nevertheless, you can build a rewarding time of love together when you remain consistent at working on issues.
Did you make any of these common relationship mistakes when you got started? Or are you currently making any of these mistakes in your current relationship? We hope these guide you to make the mouse out of your love journey. Good luck!